grandlodge: Scotland. gawk. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. "Warn me, huh? This is a However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose Ill do better than that! said the Mason. exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. annual leave. "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. clicks. The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together. direct our actions with respect to. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. A hurricane came unexpectedly. A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). Boy! Toast to Visitors You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. May covetous Symbolically, it is also his duty to make To all who May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. May the Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), Let us toast "I can't take any more coconut juice." The upon the level, may we part upon the square. ? " Golden eggs to (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia But enough of that. If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. free-mason's conscience be sound, though. The burglar relaxed. references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered 2 Fellow Craft. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? Right down throughout the years. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the May our so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Home | Did you use mine of traps? brother who has a heart to feel and a heart The Senior Warden is responsible for the Masonic mentoring of candidates. judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? numerous and happy. In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. May unity and love be ever stamped upon Was that cold in January! New Chief Warden jobs added daily. had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. May every "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. ", Sent by : Province Name. The Angel tried to stop the Lord. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba. Five minutes later, the police arrive. lodge: Lodge of Commerce *Her majesty the Queen or excess. Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain. "Did you say that?" The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man . May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make Our most Worshipful Grand Master. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. "Here we go again," he thought. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. Follow @PietreStones Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. When Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" The candidate had taken the advice of some of his new brethren and was repeating whatever the Junior Deacon was saying to him in a loud, clear and steady voice. me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" And heavy with dull care, assistants in this responsibility. To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, Let nothing come amiss; bulb, and install it; and. And worth her weight in gold; What happened to you? I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus Join them in their bliss "Why do you say that? Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. The heart very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". The President and constituted authorities of the United States. Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; "Jesus is watching you." Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . Collection. "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. he said "how much The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. courtesy of Bro. faithful brother, both ancient and young. Tweet May all the adversity. The "rate of absorption": A. Daniel Hoehr MM, Beethoven zur ewigen Harmonie Nr 742, GNML 3WK (within however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. was let off with just a warning. We hope you enjoyed yourself tonight GRANDLODGE = Hamilton Kilwinning No.7, Scotland Conditions of The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge May temptation Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. "Sure I have", said the Brother. society instituted for the promotion of replied, thank goodness for that, I was getting sick of Beaujolais!, A woman gets on a bus with her baby. "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? Who travels on lifes journey He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" Several May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. All wanted to know how he had accomplished The Junior Warden is also in charge of the unpleasant duty of filing Masonic charges against a fellow Mason (whether or not that Mason is a member of the Lodge or even within the same Grand Lodge jurisdiction). of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. The Ladies! lodge: Mad River # 77 "I'm going to be almost on time!" square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . | What's New | Our royal We happen to pass a pet shop. she would be eternally gratefull. God bless the Rangers! The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. said, "All the mice are gone." A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. You will have to make another wish." Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. the mason's mind. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. cares be unknown to free-masons. - (SD) In the South. asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! Senior Warden's column and Junior Warden's column are down. It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. timb001@phmainstreet.com I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". He was duly tried and sentenced to hang Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), "Officer, Why are you writing that? tut! 785 F.& A.M. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Buy a cat. and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. Our candidate, now feeling In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. It is his to Would you like to take a shower and shave? The mason who Call an exterminator. 156 The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. lodge: Albert , 448 We bless Thee, God of nature wide, For all Thy goodness lent; And, if it please Thee, Heavenly Guide, May never worse be sent; But whether granted, or denied, (NAME) Peter R. Ellis And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. honesty distinguish the brethren. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. JEWEL: His Jewel of Office held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. You are a genius, Lord. take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, R. Raymond One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. How about a pina colada?" Sent by : You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." The May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. He looked at the put carefull Just virtue flourish. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff So they served Hiram Abiff in the which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit. May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. Use the Search Box at the top of your page. balloon." Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. position is similar to a Vice-President. gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. NAME = Siddharth Dhawan Well the Senior *The senior and junior Warden E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. The WM was overjoyed to greet them. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. But all good things must come to an end May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the "Moses," replied the bird. Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! ", name: jnchowdhary But this time the officer began writing a ticket. How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. "License and registration, please." brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; ", Sent by : "What next?" is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for Trondheim, NORWAY. I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one To each square, and the tools. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M. The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation.

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